WELL...after a month focusing on diving more deeply into the wildness of my true nature I am in a bit of awe from the process. I am not sure why I still underestimate the power of the work and the potency of process, but my pure precious human self just can’t always believe the magic will be there every single time I choose and say yes…and yet, it is!
So here are my top takeaways from inviting, engaging, and stumbling into more wildness.
1. Data and information from outside me is not wisdom, and it is not always right for fostering my freedom. I must allow the information to be measured against my own wild wisdom. This takes courage, and it also means that I might not agree with an “expert.” I have learned the difference between the wild peace I receive from choosing my own path and listening to my intuition, and the disconnect from my body that comes from following the even well-meaning advice that lacks discernment of alignment with my values. I have also experienced the manipulation and attacks from those giving their well-meaning advice when I choose to live my radical self-responsibility and be in my fullness of owning every choice for ME. My wild freedom will continue to trigger and upset those who are asleep. And all I will do is send them love. I will not apologize, fight, or defend.
2. This leads me to my second lesson which is that my wild voice cannot be silenced. She has much to say. I have been afraid to let her speak in the past. I am learning that the more she practices, the more beautiful her expression becomes. My wild voice has sometimes come out sharp and cutting or shaking and small, but as she has found her stride she speaks more fluently in wild love and fierce gentleness. And she also refuses to be silenced any longer. Even when it means making a muck of it, she is happy to go into the messiness that leads to change and beautiful clarity, rather than swallow her wildness to make sure everyone stays docile and disintegrating in their polite disregard of life.
3. My wildness craves color and spiciness. She wants her senses to taste, touch, smell, feel. She choreographs life for maximum sensory exploration and she doesn’t deny the power of experiencing life fully with her senses. She uses everything to share parts of herself and to weave more layers into her intricate web of life experiences. She says YES when life knocks on the door and asks if she wants to come out and play.
4. My wild nature is slower and way way way spacious. To be in my wildness my breath has slowed, the time I need to take something in has slowed, and my impulsive nature is not unpredictably impulsive but now tied to the deeper impulse to meet my desires and wants. This slowing has been a true shock, as I expected more wildness would make me faster not slower. The divine feminine is truly the ability to hold it all, and maybe since I tend to go fast, to be in greater wildness I needed slowness. I wonder if the opposite holds true for others who maybe have a different relationship with making decisions or creating? Maybe their wildness speeds them up. Such beautiful nuances in our wild natures!
5. My biggest and most potent takeaway from this month of exploration is that breathing into my wildness has shown my all the places I am still hiding from life, the places I am not available to deeper connection or intimacy, the places that are still frozen in fear of being wrong or judged. These places were true blind spots that only my wildness was brave enough to venture into. Her courage is amazing and my trust of her to lead me into the frozen and closed places has grown so much.
And as I spent the past weeks thawing and meeting these places of dismemberment, the expansion in my system has been unbelievable. I have released shame around pleasure, around speaking and owning my dreams and desires, and around being my crazy bold wild too much Self. I have greater room for collaboration, receiving, and desire to invite more women into relationship. I have an even more fierce protection over my wild explorations of living free and fully from this past month. Through this experience I cleaned up relationship boundaries and got into integrity with some big issues in my life. I am excited to see where this wildness leads.
I will close with this as it is on my mind after leading last night’s Neurosculpting session (did you sign up for the replay? It's only available for a week. PM us with your email to receive it). When we live in our fight/flight/freeze system we have little to no ability to engage with our truth or our innate wildness. We cannot find the impulse of desire or believe in dreams. We are not creating life, we are letting life happen to us. We are functioning at a skewed baseline that is not conducive or supportive of freedom. To truly be in our freedom and out of the F/F/F we must let go of our belief that the answer lies outside of us in a circumstance, job, person, location, etc. No matter the externals of life we can truly live in our freedom by staying in connection to wild beautiful light. And that is my prayer for everyone.