We cannot know what will initiate us into the dark night. Or when we will be taken. Or all the ways the underworld will be revealed. I do think there are many off ramps into the dark night. Sometimes we skirt by it and breathe a sigh of relief...feeling triumph at avoiding it. Most of us keep it at bay. Keeping just enough numbness in our system and a mask on our face to survive each day. Even from that place we feel that in each day we survive there is an undercurrent of triumphant relief that today was not the day we broke.
We are so afraid of breaking. And yet.
That breakdown is the threshold into SELF in way we dream of but are seemingly unwilling to release the ego’s hold enough to allow.
The dark night...the deep cave that we are numbing and disconnecting ourselves from. This place is the PLACE holding all the answers you keep looking outside of you for. This PLACE connects you to the wisdom of the body and the remembrances of YOU. These remembrances that you hope someone else will find and give to you. This place is the descent into the true heart where illusions are stripped. This is your Inanna/erishkiegal time. This is you coming home to the underworld. For we are the queens of both and if we have been living in the upper world, disconnected from half our power source, we have not been in our wholeness.
You may never come to a point of welcoming your dark nights. You may not jump for joy for your descent but you can accept them. For it is in your dark night that you will gain fuller access to your ALL. Every journey is a pilgrimage. A reconicence mission to excavate and reassemble your parts.
So be pissy, rage on, cry and scream it out. You may be called to heal trauma from this life, ancestral and lineage wounds, your relationship with your mother, your relationship to your body, your blocks to pleasure, your need to be perfect and hustle for your worth.
I cannot tell you that it will end quickly. I cannot tell you the Work will be fun or easy. I can tell you it’s worth it. You are worth it. Your healing is of the highest value. I can tell you if you desire to live awake, to really embody your Radiance in this life, then into the dark sometimes we go. We spiral down and in. We descend. This is the mystical journey of the Heroine, the goddess on earth. And the only way out of the dark night is through.
So let the railing soften your resistance. See the resistance as the mask to the fear of the descent. Of course you are scared. It’s scary. Especially if you have never gone into the depth of the dark pool. How deep is it anyway? What is lurking down there?
Without acceptance and surrender to the healing you are being initiated into, you will wander in the desert. Some of you have been wandering. I see you Sister. I have been there. I know. I know. But the dark night is not what we need to fear. It’s the disconnect from our soul that comes if we are unwilling to recognize and release the blocks to Love we are carrying. I know this place to. It takes so much energy and so many masks and lies and feels so dead inside, so alone to live in that disconnect.
The dark night is my home turf. I am pretty agile in the dark. Take my hand as you rage. Take Kali’s hand too. We both surround you fiercely with love as you wail and release.
This is your pilgrimage to reclaim yourSelf. And it is a holy undertaking.