This is a picture of me writing in MY abbey. One of my most magical places in the world.
It's the Timoleugue Abbey in Co. Cork Ireland, and it is the place I stumbled upon in 2011 that cracked me wide open.
As I walked through this ruin so much knowledge and knowing came through. So much that so years later I am still processing it and learning it in my body and my mind.
I wanted to know it all then.
In fact, I have tried several times to make what was awakened something I could understand...meaning something I could control or fit into a manageable box. I have wanted all the answers of how this spiritual path will change me, what the outcomes will be. I have wanted guarantees that look like burning bushes or shooting stars to affirm I am on the right path. I have played ego game after ego game, making the process harder and more painful, when all that I needed was to surrender and accept.
It can be scary to accept that what we are being initiated into is so vastly beyond what we know and understand. When we are called to step past our place of being able to manage, when we are stretched into our limitless nature all our STUFF begins to come up. This process of going BIG is a full dive around your spiral. It is karma clearing and dharma invoking. It is the activation and initiation that is often called the refining fire.
What we must surrender and accept on this spiral up is different (though not vastly) for each of us.
Maybe it more correct to say it is personal or individual.
To be empowered we cannot be in the mode of controlling.
It’s a quandary the ego cannot understand.
It is something the rational mind will not get.
But if you listen closely to your soul, you will hear it whisper,
"YES. Please, just let go. I’ve got this. I’ve got you."
Can you trust your soul? Can you allow the support?
Can you allow the fire to burn away all the unnecessary layers?
I heard my soul on the wind in this muddy landscape near the Irish Sea. I heard prayers I had prayed and prayers I would pray. I heard my soul call to me and ask me to take a chance on becoming more ME than I could even understand.
I am grateful I did.
I am looking forward to sharing more of my heroine’s journey with you as I work on several projects that are bringing this writing forward.